Dear Ombuds No. 5

Dear Student,

 

First, let’s acknowledge that it’s tough to juggle a full course load and a job. When considering strategies for resolution, there are many alternatives available.  You may want to keep putting up with your supervisor's behavior if, for example, you’ll only be working a few more weeks, and you plan to get a different job next semester. You may want to quit (give at least two weeks' notice) if you don’t need the money or the experience.  

 

If you’d rather try to make your work situation better, however, ask your boss if you can meet with him one-on-one to talk about ways you and he could build on your working relationship.

 

In the meeting, we suggest being kind and giving your supervisor the benefit of the doubt: he may be unaware of what he’s doing, or you may be more sensitive to his behavior than others because of your own past experiences.  Humans tend to fight back if they feel they’re being attacked. You can lower your boss’s defenses by 1) telling him what you appreciate about him, 2) remaining calm and friendly, 3) addressing how the behaviors affect you (using “I” statements) rather than attacking him personally, and 4) choosing your words carefully.

 

The words you choose, as well as your body language, are key to a difficult conversation like this. Instead of saying, “I feel irritated when you micromanage me,” you might say, “I feel like you spend a lot of time closely supervising me, and I’d like to talk about what I can do to work more independently.” The Ombuds Office can help you think through what to say, and you can even practice the conversation with us.

 

For more information on the Ombuds Office and its resources, visit our website.