Healthy communities start with healthy relationships

Spring ushers in the traditional wedding season when couples prepare for vows, first dances and celebrations with loved ones. While focusing on the event is joyful, alumna Cassandra Bolar is passionate about helping couples focus on the relationship that follows.

“The legacy of healthy relationships can start with you,” she said. “Healthy relationships impact the overall health of families and communities. We need those relationships that take care of us so that we can thrive.”

Bolar – who returns to Auburn this spring as a recipient of the Black Alumna Award Winner – is a co-investigator for the National African American Child and Family Research Center and an assistant professor at the University of West Georgia. Her research seeks to understand how contextual factors impact father involvement, intimate relationships and familial functioning in the African American community.

As a relationship coach near Atlanta, she teaches that healthy partnerships are a catalyst for spreading wellness in communities — and she’s done the research to prove it. She earned her master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and her doctoral degree in human development and family studies from the College of Human Sciences, where research coupled with community outreach laid the foundation for her career.

A research-based approach to developing healthy relationships

Bolar was first introduced to the idea of healthy relationships and their impact on public health when she studied under Professor Francesca Adler-Baeder. Bolar worked on the Alabama Healthy Marriage and Relationship Education Initiative (AHMREI), where she conducted applied research across the state to prove that healthy relationships affect not just couples but their families, work environments and the well-being of their communities.

“That was my first exposure to community-based programming and education for families and children,” Bolar said. “The research in the field was so powerful. Getting relationship information out of research journals and into communities where it can help families is the reason I want to do this work.”

Bolar learned that partnering with the community as an equal partner for research and program development was vital to success.

“It’s a collaboration to identify the needs of the community and address them through research-based programming you create together,” she said. “As individuals we are all experts on our personal experiences and have vested interests in the outcomes of the community work.”

Bolar conducted community-based outreach and research in Alabama, Mississippi, Atlanta, and, most recently, is starting a new program in the Atlanta suburbs.

Her program, called CARE, focuses on character, a person’s aspirational self, relationship skills and emotional intelligence. Designed for high school students, it aspires to teach young adults what healthy relationships look and feel like.

"I want to help students have a sense of hope for their relational health," she said. “Social skills and emotional intelligence inform how you interact with others and are an essential component of success.”

Bolar is actively cultivating partnerships with schools, teachers, school counselors and students to continue developing the program. “I want to couple my research with their lived experience, which is extremely valuable to this process.”

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

Bolar also coaches couples to be more intentional in their marriages. Her premarital education program, Marriage Head Start, helps couples create a plan and vision for their marriage.

“It goes beyond typical premarital counseling and helps couples address 10 critical areas in their relationship,” she said. “It gives them a target and the process of creating it together helps them to qualify what marital success means for them.”

Sprung from her extensive research in healthy relationships, Bolar’s program includes guided activities to help the couple address communication styles, finances, sex, parenting, spirituality, work and family life balance, household division of labor, health and wellness, investing in your marriage and making your dreams come true together.

“Planning increases your likelihood of success by 42%,” Bolar said. “When you have a strong clarity of what you want to accomplish, you're more likely to line up your behavior in the present to fulfill future dreams and goals.”

The intentional work on the relationship helps couples build a strong foundation and significantly impacts their overall happiness.

“It’s a lifelong process, and the program gives them an infrastructure to return to when challenges arise,” she said. “What’s wonderful is these relationship skills are transferable whether it’s a partner, a parent, a best friend or a coworker.”

A return to Auburn

This April, Bolar will return to campus for Black Alumni Weekend. Beyond receiving her award, she’s excited to visit campus and former professors and swing by Amsterdam Cafe, her favorite local eatery.

Her advice to students: “Believe what Benjamin Franklin said: ‘Prevention is better than a pound of cure,’” she said. “Learn about your emotional health and how to build a healthy relationship now. You will be happier when your most treasured relationships are going well.”